Finding Bravery
by ayrabelle
Summary: Harry Potter has returned to Hogwarts. Voldemort is going to attack. Not everyone wants to stay and fight, but those that do still have to make their choice.


'Wake up! We're going to the Great Hall.'

James Harrison, pureblood sixth year Hufflepuff, swatted at the hands that were shaking him and rolled over. Did they know what time it was? He didn't even know.

A flash lit up the room and James was hoisted up in the air by his ankle. 'Argh! What the bloody hell are you doing?'

'I told you, we need to go. Professor Sprout is waking everyone and we need to go to the Great Hall.'

James had taken to sleeping with his wand strapped to his arm in the wand holder Patrick had given him for his seventeenth birthday, so he was able to let himself down. Grumbling about being abruptly woken up in the middle of a great dream, which had involved him and the pretty Ravenclaw girl from his Ancient Runes class in a broom cupboard, James threw on a pair of trainers and shirt over his pyjama pants.

James heard some of his housemates talking about why they were being gathered, and as all the students gathered in the Great Hall, the whispers that filled the hall were centered on the same thing.

Harry Potter was back.

James turned to his friends to see what they thought, but before any of them could say anything, Professor McGonagall called everyone to order. Looking grave, she made an announcement.

'The time has come to leave Hogwarts.'

An outbreak of cries and questions rose up, but she quickly stemmed the tide with a raised hand.

'The time has come to leave the castle,' she repeated. 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is coming here and we need to empty the school as quickly as possible. You will be evacuating through a room on the seventh floor and Disapparating from Hogsmeade. Evacuation will be overseen by Mr Filch and Madam Pomfrey. Prefects, when I give the word, you will organise your house and take your charges, in an orderly fashion, to the evacuation point.'*

The thought of going home was tantalising. James could go with them and not have to worry about You-Know-Who or the Carrows. He could be with his mum and dad and brother again. He would definitely live. But some of his friends didn't want to go home. Would they go? Where?

Before he could settle his hectic thoughts, he saw Ernie stand and was momentarily surprised. He hadn't seen Ernie since he set that group of young students free from detention and fled from the Carrows. 'And what if we want to stay and fight?'*

Some people cheered. James saw his friends setting their jaws and getting ready to fight. He felt his heart hammering away in the region of his stomach and looked at Professor McGonagall, dreading her answer.

'If you are of age, you may stay.'*

James suddenly wished that he was a few years younger. Then he would have a reason to leave and no one would think badly of him. Other students were shouting out questions, but James wasn't listening.

He was remembering.

* * *

 _'C'mon, James!'_

 _An eight-year-old James looked up and saw his twelve-year-old brother on the top-most branch of the tree in their back yard. 'Andrew, come back down. You'll fall.'_

 _'Nah, I won't,' Andrew assured him. 'You should come up here, it's beautiful. I can see the entire neighbourhood.'_

 _James was still worried and didn't climb up, so Andrew clambered back down. Seeing the discomfort in James's eyes, Andrew kneeled down next to his little brother. 'Don't worry, James. I know you can be brave too.' To this day, James still didn't know how Andrew knew what was plaguing James's mind._

* * *

 _'Hi, I'm James.'_

 _The boys already in the dorm room introduced themselves – James would be with Patrick O'Malley, Mark Fullerton and Tom Turner. He had the bed between Mark and Tom and sat down to look around. He wasn't in his brother's House, or his parents' House, but he was at Hogwarts. He had been looking forward to this moment his whole life._

 _'Don't make too much of a mess,' Tom warned James, fixing him with a cold glare. 'If any of your things enter my area, I'll take them.'_

 _James looked over at Tom, surprised, but the boy had already shut his bed curtains. What had James already done to make Tom dislike him?_

 _'Don't worry about that bugger,' Mark sat next to James. 'If he takes any of your things, I'll box his ears.'_

 _'Thanks,' James grinned. It was nice to have a friend._

* * *

 _James, Mark and Patrick quickly became great friends. Tom seemed to like to keep to himself more than associate with others, so they left him to it. James quite often needed help with Charms – it was not his best subject – so he got tutored by Susan Bones, a girl one year older than James. Through the tutoring, James got to know Susan and her friends from her year. They all became friends and Patrick even dated Hannah Abbot for a bit of their fifth year. However, the best friendships that James had formed were with Mark and Justin Finch-Fletchley._

* * *

 _'Looks like Justin and Mark won't be coming back this year,' Susan observed, showing the Prophet to James and Patrick on the train on September first._

 _'"Muggle-Born Registration Commission,"' she read off. 'All Muggle-borns have to go register and go to trial.'_

 _'What?' James and Patrick cried in unison. 'Why?' James felt his mouth drop open in shock as he jumped out of his seat in anger._

 _'They apparently "stole magic" from a witch or wizard,' Susan read more, disgusted. 'Look who they've appointed as the head.'_

 _James shuddered as the picture of Dolores Umbridge looked up at him – the woman who had been such a terrible Defense teacher his fourth year. He was going to miss Justin and Mark. They were his best friends after all, but he knew that it was better for them to not come back. Hogwarts was going to be different that year. Even on the train, they saw Death Eaters searching for Harry Potter. None of them knew what to expect anymore._

* * *

 _'Crucio!'_

 _James collapsed on the ground in pain. The person casting the spell wasn't even Carrow – it was a Slytherin that James recognised as being in the year above him._

 _As James writhed on the ground, the 'professor' walked over to him. 'I bet you won't be talking like that to me again, will you?'_

 _He was right, James didn't._

 _His friends had reacted badly when he had walked back into the common room and his face was bruised and cut. His arm had even broken but he didn't want to go to Madam Pomfrey until they dragged him down to the Hospital Wing._

 _What happened was the Slytherin casting the Crucio had stepped on James's arm as he lay on the ground, panting and recovering. With a snide, 'Enjoy the rest of your day,' Crabbe walked out of the room and just left James there to tend to his arm himself._

 _Madam Pomfrey had called Professor Sprout and they both asked for an explanation, but he just said that he tripped into a wall. They didn't believe him, James knew, but if he told them, then the Carrows would win. Besides, they couldn't do anything to help. If they could, they would have done so already._

* * *

James was pulled out of his memories by a high, cold voice. It echoed terribly in the Great Hall, and James instantly knew who it was.

'I know that you are preparing to fight,' You-Know-Who warned them. 'Your efforts are futile. You cannot fight me. I do not want to kill you. I have great respect for the teachers of Hogwarts. I do not want to spill magical blood. Give me Harry Potter and none shall be harmed. Give me Harry Potter and I shall leave the school untouched. Give me Harry Potter and you will be rewarded. You have until midnight.'*

The silence in the Great Hall was oppressive. James felt his eyes drawn to where Harry Potter himself stood, looking tired but determined. He looked like he knew what he had to do, like he had a mission. At the same time, James thought he looked weary – like he had grown up too fast in the previous year. He had seen too much death and didn't want to see anymore. The silence didn't last long.

'But he's there,'* a girl shrieked from behind James, coming from the Slytherin table. He recognised Pansy Parkinson pointing at Harry. 'Potter's _there_! Someone grab him!'*

Time slowed almost to a stop for James. He knew that the Gryffindors would not stand for that, and he knew that most of the rest of the school wouldn't either. He had to make his decision.

He wanted to be brave like Andrew, he really did. But he just wasn't. He was too cowardly to join the DA, both times. Ernie, Susan, Justin, Hannah, Patrick, Mark – they all had joined. Even Tom, the little snot, had joined in their fourth year. They had all offered to bring him with; he could have joined them. But, no, he always had too much homework, had Quidditch practice, was too tired, was too busy, never had enough courage.

James wanted to be like his brother, he wanted to be brave like his friends. He was going to leave Hogwarts the following year and leave what behind? Nothing.

 _Don't worry, James. I know you can be brave too._

The memory of the Carrow's face swam to the front of James' mind's eye. He was happy that James was in pain. They gloried in the students' pain and sadness. The Carrows ran the school, but if he stayed to fight he could get back at them. He could help to make sure that no one had to go through anything like that ever again.

The Gryffindors stood up and made a wall in front of Harry, daring the Slytherins to try anything.

And James made his decision. When his house stood to face the Slytherins he stood with them, wand in hand, and ready to fight.

* * *

*quoted from chapter 31, The Battle of Hogwarts, pages 489-512 (UK hardcover edition)


End file.
